B is for BOOKS!

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B:  B is for BOOKS

* I had to change my alphabet icons! There aren't any more wooden block letters...*sigh*  who knew there was so much to research? From here on out, it's sign language letters- another learning opportunity!

 In my introduction, I referred to the fact that I’m a compulsive reader, especially of books on parenting.  I’m always surprised at how few people read parenting books beyond the toddler years.  I’m not sure whether this is because folks mistakenly assume that they’re “all set” once their children are fairly independent, or if it’s due to the scarcity of parenting books available for children of elementary school age.  Much is written on parenting babies- how to get them to sleep, eat, and how to “attach” to/with them in varying degrees; however, there is little for parents of children with needs that fall within the usual range.  If you have a child with specialized needs, you can usually find something to suit your area of interest; however, if you’d like a non-religious, non-fringe book that simply helps you to make your child’s elementary school experience the best it can be, it can be very tricky to find.

 Regardless of the fact that these tomes may be hard to find, I encourage you to keep reading parenting books during your child’s elementary school years.  Read whatever you can get your hands on!  Remember, good, bad, or ugly, you’ll walk away with something!  At the very least, you’ll be able to say (as I have to a lot of what Mayim Bialik recommends in Beyond the Sling) “No way! I am SO not doing that!” (by the way, in Mayim’s defense, I haven’t completed her book.  Based on my own personal history with parenting books I initially loathe, I may in fact find myself utilizing some of her strategies in the near future…if so, you can be sure I’ll post about it!). 

Folks, our demographic researches EVERYTHING.  If we want to go out to dinner, we check YELP ratings.  If we want to see a movie, we first check to see how many stars it’s received.  If we want to buy a car, well that’s weeks of Consumer Reports ratings, Car Fax reports, and questions asked of friends, colleagues and neighbors.  If we’re planning a vacation, that’s hours spent on Trip Advisor.  Why then, do we often approach parenting children at this stage of development as “Eh, I’ll take it as it comes”?  We’re born with certain instincts, and most of us have a “gut” reaction to various situations- those are plusses.  To me though, parenting ought to be a much more proactive than reactive process.  Throw a few parenting reading choices in the pile on your nightstand…even just having the titles there will increase your focus!

Below is a list of some of my favorite parenting books.  I encourage you to research( !) a few titles that you might enjoy! By the way, the first one is my current favorite, and please don’t count out Rev. Run- that’s a terrific book from which I’ve learned a lot (plus he and Justine get the “Coolest Couple” award on the list).  I opted not to provide direct links to the books on amazon.com- it would’ve taken forever (plus, I wouldn’t want to hurt Barnes and Noble’s feelings, right?).  Also, please be aware that the synopses have not been written by yours truly- in most cases they have been quoted from the books themselves, and all images are from www.amazon.com. I own all of these- if you’re one of my “close by” friends, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to borrow!

Raising Well-Rounded Children Bringing Up Geeks: Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids how to protect your kid’s childhood in a grow-up-too-fast world by Marybeth Hicks “With Hicks’s ten rules for raising geeks, you can help your child gain: The enthusiasm to pursue his or her greatest passions, not just the latest fashions The confidence to resist peer pressure and destructive patterns in the quest to be accepted The love of learning that helps him or her excel at school- and in life The maturity to value family as well as friends, and make good moral decisions. This book inspires parents to free themselves and their kids from cultural conditioning while instilling in their children truly important values.” Take Back Your Family: A Challenge to America's Parents by Rev. Joseph Simmons, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow “An icon of hip-hop, a father of six, and an ordained minister, Rev Run has developed a parenting style that is in a class by itself. With his wife, Justine, he launched the blockbuster reality series Run’s House on MTV. The show was wildly popular in large part due to the way the Simmons family responds to very twenty-first-century issues. Emphasizing firm boundaries, noble values, discipline, and faith in an age marked by shallow materialism and fragmented families, Rev Run now shares the proven principles that have given his children a firm foundation, including: • Run your family as the COEs: Chief Officers of Everything. • Understand that you can never correct what you don’t confront. • Lead by example, not by preaching: Hypocrisy and parenting are a destructive combination. • Today’s fast-paced world can often make children feel small; your job is to help them feel large. • Older children need more rules and parental involvement, not less.”   Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference: Helping Your Family Live With Integrity, Value Simplicity, and Care for Others  by Susan V. Vogt “In her unique and thoughtful guide to raising socially conscious children, Vogt acknowledges that there are no guarantees in parenting while offering creative and realistic parenting strategies. With insights based on years of experience as a counselor and family-life educator, personal anecdotes, reflections by her children on what worked and what didn’t, ant the stories of other families, she sets out to inspire, equip, and comfort parents in their awesome task of raising kids who will make a difference.” How to Talk So Kids Can Learn at Home and in School by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish "For parents and teachers who hope to teach kids to be self-directed and self-disciplined learners, this book will show you how to: Motivate kids to succeed in school Use the dramatically effective "dialogue" technique Handle behavioral and peer problems that interfere with learning The Successful Child:What Parents Can Do to Help Kids Turn Out Well by William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N. "No doubt your child's well-being is of paramount importance to you. Yet, you alone cannot determine who your child will become. There are a myriad of forces beyond your control- from playmates, neighbors, and friends to movies, magazines, and television shows- that shape your child's development. How best can you, as your child matures, retain his trust and exert a positive influence? The topics covered (in this book) include: empathy and compassion kindness and manners confidence and self-esteem the ability to make wise choices interdependence sense of responsibility positive sibling relationships healthy friendships nurturing your child's special talents- in academics, sports, the arts, etc." Raising a Thinking Child: Help Your Young Child to Resolve Everyday Conflicts and Get Along With Others by Myrna B. Shure Ph.D. Winner of a 1996 Parent's Choice Award "Helping your child become a thinking, feeling individual and grow up to be a socially adjusted, self-confident adult is what Raising a Thinking Child is all about. Based on years of research and evaluation, clinically proven, and child-tested, it may be the most important gift you can share with your child today... for tomorrow." Discipline and Behavioral Guidance Respectful Parents, respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict Into Cooperation by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson “Use the 7 Keys to: Express yourself so you’re heard and respected Successfully handle disagreements or problem behaviors Motivate your kids to willingly contribute Set clear limits without using demands or coercion Empower your kids to open up, cooperate, and realize their full potential Create outstanding, lifelong relationships with your kids” The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, "Chronically Inflexible" Children by Ross Greene "A highly practical, comprehensive approach to help parents and teachers: Increase children's capacities for flexibility, frustration tolerance, communication and self-regulation Promote students' academic and social success Create an environment in which explosions are less likely to occur and learn to respond to early warning signs" The Angry Child: Regaining Control When Your Child Is Out of Control by Tim Murphy, Ph.D. "Anger can be a normal and understandable response to frustration and disappointment, but for some children, anger is an ingrained behavior that frequently hurts themselves and those around them. Parents can help their children develop new ways to understand their feelings and interact with others. In The Angry Child you'll learn: The 10 characteristics of the angry child The four stages of anger and how to cope with them Commonsense strategies for winning the everyday battles The causes and impact of Attention Deficit Disorder" Positive Discipline the First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler- Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D., Cheryl Erwin, M.A., and Roslyn Duffy “In (this book) you will learn how to use kind but firm support to raise achild who is both capable and confident.  You’ll find practical solutions and solid advice on how to: Encourage independence and exploration while providing appropriate boundaries Use non-punitive methods and social skills to instill valuable social skills and positive behavior inside and outside the home Recognize when your child is ready to master the challenges of sleeping, eating, and potty training, and how to avoid the power struggles that often come with those lessons Identify your child’s temperament Understand what the latest research in brain development tells us about raising healthy children And much more! This book contains real-life examples of challenges other parents and caregivers have faced. Positive Time-Out and Over 50 Ways to Avoid Power Struggles in the Home and the Classroom by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D. "Make time-out a positive learning experience for children.? Discover how positive time-out can teach children the art of self-discipline and still intill such invaluable qualities as self-confidence and problem-solving skills.? You'll also learn how to: Make time-out an encouraging experience Develop an attitude and action plan to avoid power struggles with children Empower children by involving them in the behavior-changing process Understand the mistaken goals of negative behavior" 1-2-3 Magic (2nd Edition): Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. Winner of the National Parenting Publications Gold Award "With 1-2-3 Magic, you will learn: How to get your kids to STOP doing what you don't want them to do (arguing, whining, tantrums, sibling rivalry, etc.) How to encourage your kids to START doing what you want them to do (cleaning rooms, going to bed, homework, etc.) How to handle misbehavior in public How to deal with the Six Kinds of Testing and Manipulation Ten steps for building self-esteem 1-2-3- Magic addresses the difficult task of child discipline with humor, keen insight, and proven experience. This time-tested program provides easy-to-follow steps for disciplining children aged 2-12 without yelling, arguing, or spanking. You'll also learn when-and how- your silence can speak louder than you think." The Discipline Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Better-Behaved Child- From Birth to Age Ten by William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N. "With a focus on preventing behavior problems as well as managing them when they arise, the Searses offer clear, practical advice on everything parents need to know about disciplining young children. The Searses discuss self-esteem as the foundation of good behavior, helping a child to express feelings, the constructive use of anger, good nutrition for good behavior, and sleep discipline. The Searses cover sibling rivalry, spanking and alternatives to spanking, breaking annoying habits, and eliminating bothersome behaviors like whining and talking back. The Searses strongly advocate teaching children values like apologizing and sharing, and explain how to deal with such issues as lying, stealing, and cheating." Rewards for Kids! Ready-to-Use Charts & Activities for Positive Parenting by Virginia M. Schiller, PhD with Meg F. Schneider “Finding a way to encourage preschoolers and elementary school children to behave well without resorting to scolding, threats, or bribery is a parent’s number one challenge.  In Rewards for Kids! Experienced psychologist and child-development expert Dr. Virginia M. Schiller explains why it works to “catch them doing something good”.  Reward, not bribery, is the key.  Dr. Schiller shows parents how to use a variety of child-friendly sticker charts and other tools to help children improve their behavior.  This proven positive-parenting technique has been used to help kids overcome such common behavior problems as bedtime procrastination, doing chores, getting along with sibling or friends, getting ready for school and other events on time, and completing homework without a fuss. In clear, easy steps, parents will learn creative ways to change their children’s problem behavior using an individualized plan that will help children feel good about their new accomplishments.” Families The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey "True happiness does not come from possessions of fame; it comes from the quality of your relationships with the people you love and respect. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families will help you find answers to such common family challenges as: How can you move from a "me" spirit to a "we" spirit in the family when almost everything around us rewards "me"? How can you have quality time for family when both parents (or the only parent) are working to simply keep food on the table? How can you build harmony in the family when everyone is criticizing and putting one another down? How can you get your children to do their jobs and homework cheerfully without being reminded or bribed? How can you influence a family member who just won't listen to you at all? How can you strengthen your family to withstand destructive influences in society? What do you do when you feel you're losing a child? How can you discipline without punishing? How can you rebuild a broken relationship when the feeling is no longer there? How do you create and maintain order and a spirit of cooperation in the family yet give family members the freedom and autonomy they need to grow and find fulfillment? How do you create a spirit of fun, adventure, and excitement in the family?" The Book of New Family Traditions: How to Create Great Rituals for Holidays and Everyday by Meg Cox “Life isn’t like it used to be, and we need to invent new traditions for today’s families.  Meg Cox guides you through the simple steps that help families cherish all of those special moments and milestones, help heal the wounds of trauma and loss, and strengthen the indomitable spirit of identity with a family. With (this book), your family can create the kind of celebrations that lead to everlasting happy memories.” The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use it by David Niven, PH.D. “From raising children to getting along with in-laws, what do people with close and loving families do differently that those with strained or unfulfilling relationships?  Sociologists, therapists, and psychiatrists have spent entire careers investigating the ins and outs of family dynamics, yet their findings are (often) inaccessible to ordinary people, hidden in obscure journals to be shared with other experts.  Now, David Niven has collected the most current and significant data from more than a thousand  of the  best scientific studies on families and then spelled out the findings in plain English.”  “Each statistic is accompanied by a true story about a real family showing the results in action.” Child Development Yardsticks: Children in the Classroom Ages 4-14 A Resource for Parents and Teachers by Chip Wood "Written with warmth, humor, and deep reverence for children, Yardsticks helps teachers and parents better understand children. Author Chip Wood draws upon his many years of experience as an educator, parent, and researcher to offer clear and concise descriptions of the universal characteristics of children at different ages. Teachers will use these "yardsticks" to shape curriculum and parents will use them to determine whether their child's developmental needs are being met." Raising Children in a Commercial World Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World: Seven Building Blocks for Developing Capable Young People by H. Stephen Glenn, Ph.D. and Jane Nelsen, Ed. D. "Inspiring and workable ideas for developing a trusting relationship with children, as well as the skills...to help your child become a responsible adult. Teach children to be responsible and self-reliant - not through outer-directed concerns, such as fear and intimidation, but through inner-directed behavior such as feeling accountable for one's commitments."    Living Simply With Children: A Voluntary Simplicity Guide for Moms, Dads, and Kids Who Want to Reclaim the Bliss of Childhood and the Joy of Parenting by Marie Sherlock "Living Simply With Children offers a realistic blueprint for zeroing in on the pleasures of family life: How (and why) to live simply and find more time to be with your children Activities and rituals that bring out the best in every family member Realistic ways to reclaim your children from corporate America Helping children of any age deal with peer pressure Raising kids who care about people and the planet How to focus on the "good stuff" with less stuff"   What Kids Really Want That Money Can't Buy: Tips for Parenting in a Commercial World by Betsy Taylor "Drawing on the touchingly honest answers of thousands of children who were asked the question implied in the title, this reassuring and practical book shows how to meet our children's real needs- and our own. Despite a billion-dollar-a-year marketing industry targeting your kids, they still want much more than the latest fashions. They want acceptance, they want attention, they want you. While many of us are busier than ever before, this book offers real-world strategies for reshaping our lives- and giving our kids more of our time."