C is for Charitable Giving
Charitable giving presents many opportunities for "Walking your talk" with your children! All of us are as generous as we're able to be with organizations that are near and dear to us. You may write checks in honor of someone, in memory of someone, or simply because an expressed need has struck a chord with you. I encourage you to involve your children as active participants in your giving on a regular basis!
Children are generous creatures by nature, and often very nurturing to others, even strangers. All you need to do to see how excited kids are about giving is to visit an elementary classroom on Valentine's Day- it's practically a high holy day in Kid-dom! Why? Because kids are able to GIVE cards to each other. If you were to visit a classroom on this most exciting of days, you'd see that the excitement peaks when it's time for the kids to distribute their cards; opening their own greetings always takes a back seat.! Capitalizing on this inherent desire to give is easy- finding an active way to give that works for your family logistically, economically, and philosophically is what takes the time and reflection.
Before you set out on your path to giving, I'd recommend that you take a few minutes to introduce your children to the "why's" of giving. They're natural givers; however, they're also frequently unfamiliar with how truly lucky they are. This isn't a bad thing; they just assume that their environment is how things are the world over. They have no idea that 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day, and that almost half of the world- over 3 billion people- lives on less than $2.50 a day.
Now, the purpose of this introduction to how people live around the world is NOT to create guilt and anxiety in your child (think back to those admonishments from your childhood to "eat your dinner- there are people starving, you know!"). Handled in small doses and with a focus on culture, discussions with your child regarding this country's wealth can be the gateway to planning for giving, at home and abroad!
Below are some resources I use for initiating discussions with my own children, and sometimes with my class at school, and these are followed by some suggestions for taking age-appropriate actions with your child to benefit charitable causes (the titles or authors are linked to descriptions on amazon.com. Sorry B & N, we'll getcha next time!).
Again, for my "close by friends", please let me know if you'd like to borrow any of these!
Now, ideas for taking action with your own children...
Birthday Parties for a Cause!
Our children didn't have their first "kid parties" until elementary school.Prior to that, we pretty much stuck to family gatherings (I am a miserably weak entertainer...I'm a FABULOUS planner, but as far as the execution goes, it's most often an all-out stress fest. NOT good for the party-vibe). Once the kids got to elementary school, the discussion arose as to who to invite, how many kids, where to have it, etc. Now, be aware we live in a teeny, tiny house. Think: cute, small, could be found under a toadstool and inhabited by fairies. With my entertaining phobia already firmly in place by this point in my parenting career, the wildcard of weather only heightened my anxiety! The thought of a bunch of kids (and their parents) stacked up in my house in the rain sounded less like a cute, fun party, and more like torture (at least to me...the kids, and my "why worry?" husband are always convinced that "Plan B's" are for lightweights).
So, of course the kids always wanted to invite the WHOLE class. On average, this meant that they'd be inviting about 21 kids. Now, I'm a school teacher- I handle this many children on a daily basis...IN A CLASSROOM THAT IS PRACTICALLY BIGGER THAN THE ENTIRE FIRST FLOOR OF MY HOUSE! This kind of a crowd in our humble dwelling could only indicate impending disaster (to me...again, husband and kids have NO IDEA why I'd stress about this.*sigh*).
The other nightmare, in addition to the potential for an overcrowding situation that would bring a fire marshal to his knees? The lack of storage for 21 gifts! The thought of 21 new objects to put away, step over, clean, maintain, etc., simply made my head feel like it was going to explode. So, I came up with a choice for my kids that's been in place since my daughter was in kindergarten almost 7 years ago:
Behind Door #1: A party for the whole class at a super cool venue (in case of rain...and to avoid mom cleaning for days, which also made life hell for anyone within a several mile radius), but WITHOUT gifts. Instead, the birthday child would research and choose a local charity to support.
Behind Door #2: A party at our house, with a just handful of "favorite friends" WITH presents.
Now, I know you're about to call Social services on me. PUT THE PHONE DOWN- really, this ends well! In addition to whatever "kid party" they choose, there's always the family party, where relatives bring no shortage of gifts! So, it's always the birthday kiddo's choice, and they get loads of treats at their family party (we try to keep many of the treats "experience presents" to avoid the material, but we'll get to that in a later post).
Know what? So far, the kids have chosen the benefit party for the whole class EVERY TIME! We've had parties at some great venues- a local hands-on museum, a local natural history museum, a local State Park, and other great places! They've chosen many super causes to support, including our local homeless shelter (one year, an activity was for the guests to make fleece scarves and blankets for the homeless), a soup kitchen, our local Ronald McDonald House, and our local hospital's Toy Closet. Each time, the birthday child and I toured the facility prior to the party, so s/he would be acquainted with the mission of the organization and the impact their guests' gifts would have on the lives of others.
We know how much kids like to bring gifts to a party, so we try to stick with organizations that can use goods, not just financial donations. We obtain a wish list from the organization ahead of time, and include it in the invitation. A copy of the donation part of an invitation is below (I've omitted the party's logistical info), in case you'd like to try this, and are hesitant about the phrasing:
As her birthday approaches,
___________ has decided that
she has lots to smile about!
In lieu of gifts,
____________ would like to support:
The Columbus House, Inc.
586 Ella T. Grasso Boulevard
New Haven, CT
A wish list for the house is enclosed.
If you’d like to bring
something from the list
that ___________ can donate in
honor of her birthday,
she’d warmly appreciate it!
You can learn more about the Columbus
House at: http://www.columbushouse.org/
We always take a picture of all of the donations and use the photo (along with one of all of the party guests in a big group) as the thank you note. My kids have NEVER been sorry they've chosen this option- they highly recommend it!
Other Ways to Give:
- Run a road race as a family. These always support various charities, and if your child is too small to make a 5K, there are many that have kids' runs. Good news is, the entry fees are often tax deductible! Even with my exercise-loathing, I've managed to drag my sorry behind on a bunch of these. Hey, they usually have free food at the end, and you can have someone take your picture while wearing your race number so you kinda resemble an athlete!
- Prepare and serve food for a local shelter. Our church does this one Friday a month- perhaps your house of worship does this for a local organization. My son isn't old enough to serve yet- he helps prepare the food; however, my daughter serves as often as she's able, and has cultivated an immense respect for the folks who live in the shelter.
- Host a "drive" of some sort. The second grade at my school collected over 100 pairs of socks when I learned there was a need at our local shelter. A child in my daughter's dance class also learned of this need and ran a drive at the dancing school!
- Participate in a "sponsorship" activity that resonates with you. My kids participate in a "Blocks of Love" event annually where they build and display a Lego structure together that goes on display at a special event. Friends and family sponsor them, and they raise funds for families living with cancer. Other sponsorship activities are special "walks" and "runs" or events such as St. Baldrick's, read-a-thons, and more! Just choose something that resonates with your family's hearts and priorities!
- "Adopt" a family at the holidays through a program that coordinates gifts for needy families. Ask your child to help you budget for the gifts, select them, shop for them, and wrap them!
- Deliver meals to shut-ins on Thanksgiving- they're usually delivered early in the day, and you can be at a relative's home in time for dinner (yeah, remember? I avoid entertaining at my house;-), with a arm heart.
- Give a symbolic gift for a special occasion such as a birthday, holiday, or religious rite of passage. Our family likes to give a symbolic animal from Heifer International to honor these occasions.
I love this post. I also write for PennyThots.com, a personal finance blog, and have been working on a post about charities that promote self-sufficiency, such as Heifer International, the Central Asia Institute, and charities that do micro-lending.
ReplyDeleteGiving to those in need is always a great thing, but I specifically like the ones that help turn my little investment into a lifetime of hope rather than just consumable bottles of water (not that people don't need water too).
Thanks so much, Teresa! I'm so glad that you're including Heifer International in your impending post. I was fortunate to be able to attend their Heifer University for Educators-a 4 day course held at their headquarters in Little Rock. I learned an incredible amount about how the charity is managed and the protocol for establishing a gifting program in a region, and then sustaining it through the efforts of local people without relying on Heifer staffers indefinitely. It was a FABULOUS experience. I highly recommend it- it's usually completely free, with the exception of your travel to and from Little Rock.
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