Made it!

We survived the marathon that was the last couple of weeks!  Pictured above are a few highlights from the Pinewood Derby, my son dressed as my husband for his "Not So Famous Person" presentation, and my daughter as a "Who" in her middle school's production of "Seussical, the Musical!".  It was a crazy few weeks, but in between the events above and all of those rehearsals, parent/teacher conferences, and the CT State Future Problem Solving competition, I've squeezed in some time to think about what makes me "qualified" (using the term in its loosest form ;-) to write an A-Z blog on parenting in the hopes that others might find something useful in what I have to share...

Since I was in my early 20's (long before I had my own), I've always been very interested in the decisions people make regarding their children.  Good, bad, or ugly, I've found parenting choices an endless source of fascination and education.  Some parenting practices made me cringe, while others made me want to commit them to memory so I could use them in my own life, when the time came.  Over the years, I've learned that sometimes even the cringe-worthy tactics have value, and at their best, can be modified to be quite effective!

When I was pregnant for the first time a dozen years ago, I watched endless episodes of TLC's A Baby Story.  I was fascinated by people's choices! It didn't matter to me if the family had chosen to deliver their baby in an inflatable kiddie pool in the living room- I was sure I'd learn something about my own birthing choices, whether it was to avoid anything remotely similar to what I was watching (as in the case of the  kiddie pool), or something I couldn't wait to add to my mental "to do" list.  This is the same approach I've taken with all of the families with whom I've worked as an educator, as a colleague, a fellow member of the school community, or with whom I've socialized as friends.  I've learned from all of them, and I've been particularly attuned to the impacts their parenting choices have had on their children.

 Over the past 20 years I have had the privilege of working with families across an incredibly broad spectrum.  I worked with families where the parents have been professors at Ivy League institutions, to families where parents have served (or are serving) time in prison for various infractions.  Students with whom I've worked run an equally variable gamut; some are now parents themselves, some are attending Ivy League institutions, and others are serving time in prison for crimes such as selling drugs, home invasions, and many in between.  I've worked with families who served their children only organic foods and utilized cloth diapers, long before such practices became en vogue.  I've made the acquaintance of families who seem to orchestrate the entire planet around their children, so their children never have to deal with disappointment or frustration.  I've worked with other families who refrain entirely from involvement with their children's education "because that's the school's job".  I've met stay at home moms and moms who work a hundred hours a week.  All of these folks have taught me somthing, and to all of them, I'm truly grateful!

Equally fascinating to me are books of all types of parenting styles. I'll include a bibliography in one of my future posts; however recent reads have included Bringing Up Bebe:One Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman, Beyond the Sling by Mayim Bialik (who new "Blossom" would end up with a Ph.D.???), and Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua. No matter how "out there" or "fringe" they may seem, all of them contain a nugget (often much more!) of information that I've found incredibly useful.  Oftentimes, this doesn't happen at first, but the ideas seem to lodge themselves in my mind like burrs, and I find myself returning to them frequently, and grudgingly admitting that I've reluctantly learned something from someone who's book I've labeled "ridiculous".  One particular case was Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. That one outraged me so much, that I (for the first and only time in my entire life) returned it to the store AFTER I had read it (my apologies, Barnes and Noble, but I was really, really mad...)!  BUT (notice, it's a big "but" ;-), during the weeks that followed, I noticed myself raising the bar a bit for my own kids.  Not unreasonably high; but not letting things slide that I knew they could do, such as a little extra with school work and help around the house. Coincidence?Probably not! As much as Amy Chua made my blood boil initially, over the course of a week or so, I processed the burrs that stuck in my mind, and learned a bit from her to enhance my own parenting.

It is my hope that my A-Z blogs will contain some nuggets for you...good, bad or ugly nuggets....that'll stick in your mind, and whether they make you nod your head in assent or yell at the screen in angry disagreement, it is my hope that they'll enhance your personal parenting style, either by reinforcing your current ideas or prompting you to try some new ones.  No doubt there'll be some that go the way of the "kiddie pool int he living room delivery" ,but it's my hope that many more are useful!