F is for FLEXIBILITY

F is for FLEXIBILITY

Flexibility is one area where adults most definitely have to "walk their talk" in order to impart the characteristic to their children.This skill is tremendously valued in the job market (it was on many "Top 10 Desired Employee Characteristics"lists that I searched), and makes daily life MUCH more pleasant for both children and adults.

***Note: Exercise caution when searching "flexible people" on the internet...you have NO IDEA of the education I received while doing some research for this post! ;-)***

Flexible Adults:

• Adapt to a change in circumstance positively 
• Can appreciate alternative points of view
• Do not view a change in opinion or an acceptance of an alternate perspective as a "loss"
• See the big picture
• Actively listen to their children, and are willing to modify their own ideas when it makes sense to do so- they don't need to "win" every battle
• Are willing to sacrifice "for the good of the cause"
• Are willing to try new things; they don't have to end up liking them, but they're willing to check 'em out
• Often don't realize the positive impact their open-mindedness is having on their children- it's a bonus!
• Realize that "flexibility" doesn't mean "chaos"; just an intentional willingness to be open to change when necessary, and sometimes when it'd just be fun!
• Create flexible children through daily modeling of the characteristic 

Flexible Children*:

• Are less prone to anxiety in changeable situations
• Are more excited about new ideas and experiences
• Are more likely to discuss their own opinions with others, even if they're different from the mainstream
• Appreciate diversity as they've been taught to respect and truly listen to alternative points of view
• Take safe risks, such as trying new foods and experiences
• Less prone to tantrums as they have been taught to see a situation from a variety of angles
• Are most likely to be problem-solvers and out-of-the-box thinkers

Flexible parents:

• Are open to a wide variety of philosophies on child-rearing- they take the best (for their particular family) and are comfortable "leaving the rest"
• Appreciate that their children are part of an entire community of children, and have a vested interest in what's best for the whole community and not just for their own children in particular
• Are not malleable; just flexible.  They listen to the ideas and suggestions of their children and adapt when prudent and possible; however, they are also comfortable in sticking to their original decisions if that is what's best for the children
• Understand that their child's happiness/satisfaction with the parent's (s') decisions is not always necessary.  Sometimes, parents really do "know better" and need to be inflexible and allow the decision to stand as is if it is truly what is best for the child, the family, and the community
• Value their children as self-aware individuals; yet are comfortable encouraging their children to stretch beyond their comfort zones and expand their developing flexibility
• Don't hover to the point of inhibiting their children's growth- they let their children experience some things independently in order to build self-confidence
• Don't solve all of their children's problems for them; they offer suggestions and model strategies and see how the child does on his/her own.  They DO, however, step in when necessary to assist their children in navigating unfamiliar or intimidating situations
• Recognize that they must sometimes allow their children the gift of being able to process some things (even the tough ones) on their own.  The children will grow wiser and stronger through the process, and flexible adults will be open to learning from their children as they navigate the stormy seas

* Please note that my conclusions regarding flexibility in children are based only on personal observation of the hundreds of children with whom I've learned with over the years. Even without hard data, I think a visible trend among over 350 kids is a source worthy of consideration :-).

So, no yoga pants needed for this flexibility (cheer on!)- just a willingness to become a bit more open-minded, a bit less entrenched, and a readiness to adapt a positive point of view!